As we begin to feel more settled in our home and in our neighborhood I have felt a lack of time with African people and friends in general and I have been trying to figure out and strategize how we can fix this. I have wanted to spend more time with our host family and with other friends but it has been hard, we have this “schedule” of classes and homeschool, and the days go by and I don’t get the time I want with my African friends (other than my language helper of course, she is definitely my friend :). I have been desiring to go deeper in my current relationships. It’s almost like God has been readying my heart for this, for the DESIRE and the ABILITY to deepen these relationships.
Soooo… this week I started phase 4 of my language study, this is phase 4 out of 6 phases… guess what the name of this phase is? “Deep Life Sharing” phase… ha!! I knew I would be transitioning soon, but I didn’t realize exactly what I was going to be getting into. I am nervous about this phase, but I’m also really excited. What does it look like? Yes, well I get to start interviewing different people about life experiences basically. First of all I get to interview whoever I want to about what they do for work, I record them telling every single thing they do on a normal work day, and then I can take the recording back with my language helper and listen to it with her, and go over it for new words and meanings of phrases. Second type, I get to interview people about their life stories which is a little more sensitive than the “what do you do for a living?” question. Here when you first meet someone you don’t just ask them all about their family, how they grew up, their religion, their difficulties in life… that would be PRETTY rude! However I CAN ask about someone’s life whom I already know, that is why it is ‘deepening relationships’ that are already in place, these recordings I don’t take back to my language helper, I listen to them on my own (or with the interviewee) and write down new words, and bring the new words back to my language helper. And because people’s life stories are really personal I can assure them I am the only one listening to them.
I am so excited about this phase because relationships are my deal, not like I master them, but like… this is why I live… to get to know people, to know there hearts and what makes them beat!! Developing deep relationships is exciting to me!! This phase my speaking ability will also (hopefully) expand, and we will begin to learn even more about culture and life here in Africa. Can I just say thank you Lord for preparing my heart for this next step.
I can see that God is going to grow me, and I can’t help but feel like I will be blessed through these relationships as well, and I hope that I can be a blessing also!!
We just finished a workshop last week of how this Growing Participators Program works, what we do in each phase and how we can effectively work with a nurturer who leads us along in the language and culture. We stayed at our mission for 5 days, the kids played all day on the big play ground and inside coloring and we were in meetings in the morning and language sessions in the afternoon. People made my every meal for an entire week… yaaaahoooooo!!! I was so excited about that aspect of the week, and it was wonderful, I just wish that our bed wasn’t as hard as a rock, I think I would have felt a little more rested… oh well, you can’t have everything huh? We just got back to our house on Friday evening and we are happy to be home.
Unfortunately on our way home from the mission we got stuck in some sand, some kids helped us get out of the sand (in a car someone is loaning us), and when we got out of the sand TJ thought about giving them a few pieces of money, and so they were all pushing on his window… well after a few seconds of 10-15 kids pushing the window it broke… NOT what we wanted to deal after being tired at the end of the week. The window is currently fixed, BUT we’re not going to stop next time!!
Learning a new language has it’s curses and blessings. One thing that comes with talking more is making more cultural “faux pas”. I love that my level of communication is rising, but as I talk more and as my relationships deepen I am indeed making more cultural mistakes… dang it! I feel as though we are just beginning to scrape surfaces of culture here, and are just beginning to dig into some things. Oh the things yet to learn.
A couple weeks ago I was talking to our “Noonoo” (Nanny) and telling her that she can tell me ANYTHING, that if I’m doing something wrong, I WANT to know!! So she said (my paraphrase) “okay well there is something, when people come into your home it is rude to ask them if they want water or food, you just bring them water, and if your eating you just say ‘come eat!’ and they can refuse if they want to, I was like “uuuhhh…Oh my goodness… seriously? I had no idea!!” immediately after realizing how many mistakes we had been making with this question “what do you want?” I said “ I’m so sorry! Wow…” Even though I felt like I instantly learned this new nougat of information, I am now realizing my comprehension is JUST beginning!! Because of this new found information I am seeing a lot of dots connecting with other cultural behaviors I have actually been witnessing for the past 8 months. By the grace of God we will continue to learn from our mistakes.
I shared with my host mom my new cultural findings, and thankfully she further explained… yay for more explanations… I am like a baby…. waaaaah I know nothing!! Ha! seriously, living in another culture puts you right back in your diaper pants, welcome to my toddler stage people… hopefully there will be less throwing fits on my part, however I can’t guarantee there will be none! My host mom shared with me another faux pas that I had made with her, and I was SOoooooo grateful! I was grateful because it was the significance of our relationship going to the next level. She felt comfortable enough to critique me and let me know where I had gone wrong. I felt like it was the beginning of our worlds opening up to each other, and we were now going to be beginning a new chapter. Yes God is blessing the relationship… thank you God!!
On another note our ‘family’ here have been praying and looking for a second hand washing machine, and we happened to find one (seriously only by the grace of God), and the whole thing ended up being a God story with how he provided for them, it was really cool and fun to be a part of. TJ helped install the washer which also happened to be on her Birthday. I made a cake and we ate a special dinner with them. At the end of the night they said we were all gonna pray before going, and so I said I would like to pray for her in English, and so after that each of them shared their thankfulness to us and their thankfulness to God. Because they both shared, I felt it appropriate it share, I shared with them how they were a gift to us, how we had prayed for them as our family for a long time, and how I am feeling blessed as the relationship grows, and how we are thankful for them opening up their home and heart to us. It was the first time I almost started crying because I shared something personal emotionally driven in French… wow!! God is good. He really is! I am excited about what he is doing.
Please Pray for us as we continue to learn this language, and as we learn more language that we would be sensitive to the cultural things we are learning as well. Pray that God would be cultivating the relationships and that they would be honoring to him. Please pray for our kids as we do ministry, language, and life together.
Lea
May 19, 2016 @ 07:59:34