Happy Birthday Nola

My good friend Gayle who we got to stay with for a few days

It’s been a full week. We are in Roach Missouri where we trained to be tribal church planters as well as where we experienced God through loosing our baby. Last Wednesday was Nola’s birthday, my 3rd daughter who just happens to be spending all her time with Jesus, I need to be following her example :-). We wanted her birthday to be special, and we wanted to remember her and how she has affected our lives. The day began with a pedicure for my very good friend Gayle and I. It has been one year since I painted my toe nails, a small ode to her.

We got flowers for her to put by her grave, what a blessing to be here near her grave RIGHT now!!

Flowers for Nola

And we got flowers for us to remember her.

Flowers for us

We went to the grave with the girls, Ava had a million questions, she remembered when we buried Nola, we prayed and read a psalm. I cried. I again felt the sting of loosing her again, it’s been a while since I felt that distinct feeling, but it felt good to feel that in the sense that I hadn’t forgotten her, that she is still a part of me. For the evening we gathered with close friends (minus one who was 🙁 sick) who were with us and walked this difficult path with us. I got to spend part of the day inventing my own version of chicken and dumplings soup with bone broth, Kale, roasted butternut squash, a little cream, and sourdough dumplings.

We went around the table sharing some experiences in how God has spoken to us in our own secret places this year. It felt rich, and honoring to God. My dear friend Jonie made beautiful dark chocolate raspberry filled cupcakes with raspberry whipped cream frosting, they we’re beautiful and delicious!!

raspberry filled chocolate cupcakes

eating delicious cupcakes

At the end of the day I feel that we honored Nola and remembered her well, I look forward to actually knowing her at the end of this life. Heaven is not too far away.

On a completely different note, we are smack dap in the midst of transition. Have you ever lived in 2 (or more) places? I mean fully committed to one place and another? Okay, we’re talking about California and Florida here. We have family and dear dear friends in Fresno/Auberry California, AND family and dear dear friends in Cocoa Florida, and I literally feel like we belong in both places. My heart is torn between two places, and that’s just places that feel like home! There is also Roach, Missouri where we lived for a year and a half, we have a church there and people we love, there is Phoenix Arizona where my best friend resides, there is Senegal West Africa where we plan to make our long term home. I want to give you a picture of the difficulty of these kinds of circumstances. Can I just say my heart hurts, it hurts.

The plan that we have nonchalantly been telling people is that we’re gonna spend 6 months in California building stronger relationships and then go back to Florida and spend 10 months with our new sending church building relationships there. Well we have just finished the 6 months in Fresno, and I would say we successfully built relationships, the thing is that when relationships are built, there is a loss when you leave. Roots have grown, which is a good thing, it just makes it harder to uproot your children from those they love once again and move across the country. We are looking forward to being with family in Cocoa Florida and spending time with our church there, we already have deep relationships there, which makes it hard every time we leave. As we spend time with those in our church and neighborhood I would expect that by the time we leave for Africa we will have built more relationships and grown more roots, it will once again be like tearing our hearts out. What I am learning is that these connections and good relationships are what we need while we’re are bringing the good news to an unreached nation. With the spiritual warfare that we will come against, we need you!! We need our friends and family to be with us, to pray with us and understand what this means for us, for all of us.
As we come back to the Cocoa area, please have grace for us as our family is making another big move, our kids are asking for a home, they are asking to go back to Nonni’s house (that is the last home they are clinging to). Ava tells me she doesn’t like the furniture in our friend’s house we’re staying with, finally I get out of her that she just wants to have our furniture with just our family. Penny has completely regressed in her potty training and TJ and I feel a number of emotions as we take up our roots and move again. So if you see us struggling with our girls behavior or attitude please have grace and love for us as we are trusting the Lord for his strength. Also know that we are excited to come to you and excited to be with you. When we are with you we are all there and all invested. A wise person tells us every time we see him “grow where you’re planted, bloom where you are”. And that is our desire as we move forward with already made relationships and new relationships.