tjandlily.com

my pretty girl

We have a home group that we normally attend every week, however last week we got invited to a different home group in order that we could get to know them a little better, as well as answer any questions people might have about who we are and our missions Journey. Well… what an encouragement! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but God definitely had encouragement for me to receive there.

After having a time of informal questions and visiting, they wanted to pray for us, and so they asked us what we wanted prayer for. It was hard for me to just come up with things to pray for, so I just shared where we are right now and what my desire is, and what we personally pray for. The main thing we pray for right now is that the door will be opened to relationships with individuals in our church. And honestly I’m not sure why these relationships are going to be so important when we’re in Senegal West Africa, but I have this strong strong feeling that it is going to be completely necessary to have this base while we’re away….

And so, as they were praying for us, one of the ladies prayed out of pure understanding for the first time, that we really desired friendships, closeness and intimacy (in a good way) with these people, and so she prayed for that, while understanding herself what we were desiring. Wow, someone praying what I pray as well as understanding my heart at the same time, a tear began falling down my face. I am encouraged. And as I’m writing this, I can’t help but feel like this is a God given desire, and in time he will reveal why.

We so enjoyed my mom’s visit and ALL the book she brought!

On to a different topic, my mom came to visit this week! What a treat, other than Ava being sick, we have really enjoying having her here!! We had been counting down for about a week, so by the time the girls were waiting for their Nonni in the airport, they could NOT wait, they were so excited. They met her with excitement and welcoming sweet hugs!

making backstrap from our deer for my mama

yummmm

She got to be here and help with our “Taste of Missions” luncheon that I got to help put on at our church. All of the missionary families made foreign dishes, and the church memebers brought salads and desserts. So, Saturday we spent the day making Mafe, a chicken peanut sauce over rice dish, I was so grateful for my mom’s help! It went amazing, all the food was absolutely delicious!! The main purpose was to say thank you to our church for being behind us and supporting us!

So I told you that I had 12 vials of blood taken, and I was waiting for a phone call to hear back from my doctor. Well… last week they called me and said I had a couple abnormalities, and the doctor thought he could help me, but I needed to come in to hear all about it, so I had to WAIT!! I hate waiting. My appointment was about a week and a half out, but they said I could call every day to see if anyone cancelled, so I called on Tuesday… turns out someone cancelled at 2:30, so in we went. I felt excited about the thought that I might get some answers!! But also just curious to find out what they had to tell me.

I apparently have 2 abnormalities in my genetics, nothing too serious, but they did cause a little red flag to wave. 

I have 2 abnormal genes that create blood clotting problems, not major problems, but enough to effect a pregnancy. The issue is that the blood clotting may be affecting my pregnancies at an early stage. If there are any blood clotting issues, the placenta will struggle in the early stages because it has so many little blood vessels, and if there are little clots, even tiny ones it will basically just cause the placenta to be starved, and not be able to grow.

The other possible issue is the need for a higher amount (like 3 x as much) of folate, progesterone taken orally to maintain a pregnancy (if my body is not producing enough, it could end in a failed pregnancy) and a baby aspirin taken daily during pregnancy (to prevent any issues with blood clotting if that is the issue). Now I realize I am giving you all these details… If you are a health freak (well, like me actually) I want you to know I am taking all necessary precautions and am going to make decisions with lots of thought, prayer and research, and I would kindly ask that you not give advice unless I ask, as I’m not writing to ask for advice, but just to inform. 🙂

We Left the office, TJ was driving home and we began talking about our options and what we might want to do. I just felt scared and not sure what to do or feel.

But as the afternoon continued, I began to remember all the people who have prayed for me in this area, including this woman in church who told me she prays for me and my babies every single morning. I can’t forget that God gets involved in my life and he is so very intimately a part of my journey. Leaving the doctors office I didn’t really want to believe or trust anything he said, I think mostly because I just wanted to protect my heart… thoughts went through my head, like what if he’s wrong (he may be) and I loose more babies… I don’t want to loose more babies! As I consider even the thought of trying again, I feel scared. If you have had multiple early miscarriages, then you know what it’s like to worry every time you go to the bathroom what color is going to come out, you are concerned if this baby is going to stay in or come out too early. And so as we walk forward in this journey, we have lost the innocence of enjoying pregnancy. I don’t want to put my full trust in a human and just be made a fool once again, but my heart began to feel challenged, especially as TJ followed those thoughts with some encouraging words of who God is, and what he has done and how he has directed us even to this doctor specifically. So if God sees fit to give me another child at some point, I am going to need prayer for spiritual and physical sustenance. But as God walks with me through this journey, I have to believe that he has brought me to people to help me, that he has burdened people to pray for me, and he is not wasting my experiences. I do know that he is asking me to trust him, to believe in who he was, who he is and who he will remain to be, a faithful and trustworthy God. Even if I loose more babies, God will have been with me for the journey and met me in every place. I only say that because I don’t assume that just because God brought me to this doctor, it means everything is going to turn out the way I want, but I can trust that he has my best in mind, and that he loves me more than I will ever understand, and that he will one day replace my suffering with glory.

So, as we move forward we’re gonna pray and seek God, and believe him for the best. Thanks for walking with me on this journey, If you follow my blogs I want you to know I appreciate you, and when you feel encouraged, it just so happens I feel encouraged. Isn’t it interesting how it works 🙂

learning how to play quirkle