Sunday was our last day in church, I could feel the emotion as we walked in EVERYONE knowing that this was our last Sunday, everyone dreading the goodbyes, at least I felt that way…. I was dreading the goodbyes!  Our church has always felt like such a miracle from God, and it is… but it’s more than that now.  We have personal relationships with so many individuals in our church, we love and care for so many, and the thing is that it goes both ways.  So as they sent us out, prayed for us and exported us, we could sense the weight behind their support, their love, their care…. What a Blessing to have them!!  And as I look back several months I remember Auberry Community sending us out, we have strong relationships there too.  God has given us such stability and gifts in both these churches, we are being WELL. SENT!

I feel like I did pretty well at church though, I didn’t cry too much… just a little. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had my moments, I cried as we sat down to our “last dinner” with Kyle and Cherie, I started crying on my way out of the grocery store the other day.  It hits me at different moments.  Monday I had to say goodbye to Cherie, my dear, dear friend and sister…. these are hard moments.  I had to say goodbye to my new yet very close friend Krista, and I feel sad and almost angry that I didn’t get to spend more time with her, but yet soo so thankful for the time we did get.

On another note even though I am in a better place with the Lord I still am working through what it looks like to trust him again, to love him with my whole heart and listen to him closely again.  Because there is no doubt I have felt hurt and am in the midst of coming back from that.

Sunday night we spent the evening with TJ’s whole family, and it was a gift of an evening because of all the family that was gathered around us including, The Straughan family who was there visiting from Texas,  all TJ’s family members as well as the other Shropshire family.  They as family in Christ and family to us, gathered around us to pray for us, and send us out. What a blessing to have so much family that loves the Lord and stands behind us, supporting us, loving us, and praying for us as we go.  God is good.

I met TJ’s cousin (one of the people visiting from Texas) Jordan’s girlfriend Jenny for the first time, and as we were talking I got to share our story with her, which I hadn’t actually done for a while.  It was timely for me to share our story, because I was reminded of who God is, what he has done and why we are following him to Africa.  As I was sharing all that God has done and how he lead us so clearly, and answered prayers so specifically, the truth once again dawned on me that God is faithful and he never changes.  He has never left us nor has he forsaken us.  What I have perceived about him in the last few weeks is not true of him, and yet he understands and is gracious and merciful to me.  As I reflect back on our “story”  there is story after story in our own personal lives of him being faithful, answering prayer, standing close with us, leading us, protecting us, using us… being our faithful and unchanging Father.

Psalm 86:15

“But you, oh Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

This week, the week before we leave for Senegal we have not been without our difficulties… this past month or two has not been without it’s hardship.  Would it be ignorant of me to think that the enemy wouldn’t want us walking forward in the Lord’s plan?  Why would he want us following a good God?  OH no, he doesn’t… he’s trying to take us down, from miscarriage to disappointment in God, from marital arguments to baggage problems, he will do what he can.  So, can I ask you to pray with us?  Fight with us in this battle.  I believe he will give you the wisdom to pray, but pray that we will see him clearly, that he will protect and prepare those that we will one day share the gospel of truth with.

And as your praying, will you continue to pray for my heart?  I was reading our Pastor’s blog the other day and a couple things popped out at me. “for us to love others, we must be fully captured by His love.” What a good reminder!!  My God is asking me to LOVE him with the entirety of my being… I just imagine myself at his feet, laying EVERYTHING there, everything I feel, what I’m worried about, including my fears about HIM specifically… Give it to him and let him embrace me fully, accepting his love without looking back.  What does it look like for me to move forward in COMPLETE trust in him(?) … because what he has already done is complete and finished, I am his and he is mine.  So as we walk forward, and in this moment I want to be fully captured by his love, I want to be so in love with him that I make illogical decisions because I am so overwhelmed with who he is, and how he loves me…. may we all accept his love for us, let him love us, that in turn we might love others the way he designed us!

We have been in Maryland since Tuesday.  We are connecting with Mariner’s church which has been good, we speak for a few minutes at church on Sunday and then head out Tuesday.  We are thanking God for these connections!  We are soaking up this good whether these last few days and then, we’ll be off to hot Africa!!

Last Trader Joe's Trip

Last Trader Joe’s Trip

Date with this silly guy

Date with this silly guy

IMG_2292

a spicy lady at this church in Maryland decided to give me her glasses :O)

a spicy lady at this church in Maryland decided to give me her glasses :O)

a small group we got to hang out with here in Maryland

a small group we got to hang out with here in Maryland

Saying goodbye to Grand-dad

Saying goodbye to Grand-dad

Penny's class

Penny’s class

Penny saying goodbye to her friend Brooklyn

Penny saying goodbye to her friend Brooklyn

They spent almost every day in the pool when we stayed with our Pastor's family

They spent almost every day in the pool when we stayed with our Pastor’s family

I CUT my hair!!

I CUT my hair!!

Breakfast with my dear friend Joyce.

Breakfast with my dear friend Joyce.

IMG_2071-1

Got to spend an evening with these amazing ladies and friends from Florida... It was my goodbye dinner

Got to spend an evening with these amazing ladies and friends from Florida… It was my goodbye dinner