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We have been in Cocoa Florida for one week and one day. What a journey we have been walking!! It sort of feels like we have been here for weeks and yet we just got here. Heaven is sounding so wonderful as life moves on. We build such deep relationships everywhere we go… as I look forward to our afterlife I honestly cannot wait! The union and the fellowship that we will have there I just cannot imagine. There will be NO TEARS… none! Can you imagine? You know how crying feels good when your finished? Unless you’ve cried so hard you have a headache. I wonder if there is a similar thing in heaven, without the crying… Just a thought.

Princess!

As I sit here listening to worship music, drinking my coffee with whipped cream and writing out my thoughts, I look forward to sweet, sweet fellowship I will have with Jesus and I know it is real and I know it is coming!

This year, this time in my life is hard, it is hard… we have lost 4 babies this year. I ask God why? When he has done such great miracles in our lives, I mean big things, why doesn’t he do this miracle? And yet I know I am asking the wrong questions. And at the same time I know God permits me to ask these questions anyway, he knows me, he knows my finite mind, and he also knows that I live to serve him and love him.

Eating (avocado) Chocolate pudding

So as this week has unfolded, and as I have walked through some depressing moments, at the end of the week it is clear to me that God is good, he is big and he causes all thing to work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose. The good news is that I am called according to his purpose. It has also been made clear to me that this life and my purpose goes so much further than my own difficulties no matter how hard they may be. There is so much that is beyond ME! As I look at where God has brought me, and where he has called me, where he has called my family, I can see that we are living for so much more. I will make great sacrifices for the sake of the gospel, I want to be ready to be used by God. He is sanding me down, smoothing the rough edges, giving me a better grasp on eternity, and living for it. God has called our family to West Africa, there are so many people there who have never had the chance to hear the name of Jesus, could you imagine? People (anywhere) coming to know Christ and having a relationship with him, that is what we live for, this is the bigger thing. This is so much bigger than me. And even though I wish I could mother those babies here on earth, I know that they are being well taken care of.

I pray that God will use these things for his glory.

So… I walk forward, I take another step. I ask God to give me grace. Babies are a part of life, and I will be around them, I will be around pregnant women, but I believe God will give me grace as I walk this road, because He is God and He is good, and he knows what I need. I. Trust. Him.

Yumm!!!

So, as my perspective is changing and as my head feels more clear every day, I feel excited about being here. I am excited to be in our church! I am excited to get to know people, I am excited to serve, and I am excited to just be here. I have already spent time with precious people in my life, and I look forward to continuing that. We will be here in Cocoa until August 2015 and then we will be moving to Senegal West Africa.