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I took the train to visit my friend Brooke in San Francisco. I love trains… Did I mention that I love trains?

I get to just sit and stare out the window.  I get to write down all my thoughts and get my head clear, I get to write down all the things I need to do and… I don’t have to talk to anyone!  I love the time to myself as we zoom by the terrain, beautiful houses, and the beat up houses.  I get to reflect and talk to God, I get to read and listen to people speaking different languages.  Most of all it is relaxing!

On the way to San Fran a couple got on the train, they sat in front of me and to the right, it was obvious that they were smokers and hadn’t had a shower In a while, but they were polite and well mannered. When they came walking up the guy asked the unsocial young man across the table if he and his girlfriend could sit there, of course he said yes, what else is he going to say? They were in their early 20’s and seemed to be a little lost in life, you could tell she felt loved by her sweet boyfriend, and wasn’t incredibly embarrassed about her state, but wouldn’t mind if life was better. The conductors came by to check there tickets and it turns out they were on the wrong train and were going in the wrong direction… Bummer I felt bad for them!! I sat there and wondered what their background was like and where were they now, were they running from someone or something? What was their story? In that moment of them getting off the train at the next stop the only thing I could do was pray for them and their spiritual condition.

So… Brookie picked me up and went to lunch together, we sat and talked for a few hours, it felt rich to talk and share some big life stories with each other. She even asked me about my birth stories. You see Brooke and I have known each other since we were 3 and she said “when we were playing with barbies together I never pictured you sharing your birth story with me”. I thought that was funny and also could appreciate where we have come in our relationship and the way it has grown and deepened over the years. I appreciate Brooke for her ambitious personality, and content spirit to just appreciate life and people. She’s open to new things and laughs easily, she’s a giver of her time, and didn’t hesitate to spoil me during my visit. If I am within a few hours of Brooke I won’t hesitate to make time for her!! Good friends are like precious gems and shouldn’t be held lightly.

I got to see where she lives and we spent the afternoon making a gluten free dairy free banana bread which was a first for me, it was delicious!  And we walked down to the nearest little coffee shop where they had incredible coffee!  Unfortunately though San Francisco doesn’t keep a bottle of whipped cream in their ice chest… they are purists!

Brookie took me on a date, and after we finished our delicious dinner at a Peruvian restaurant we decide to head to the store.

Dinner was unique and amazing!

We’re walking through this yuppy grocery store, grabbing things that sound fun, quinoa macaroni & cheese, kale for our smoothies, bottles to make Kumbucha and a couple bananas, well… For our smoothies. We’re standing in line and there is a blackout, the whole block is out of power, apparently it happens every once and a while. So we turn our flash light phones on and put all our items back, but then we hear that they take cash, so we start regathering our items, and we happen to be laughing like little girls, running from isle to isle grabbing the same things that we once grabbed 5 minutes before, we go back to the line and check out… With cash. We grab all our stuff carrying it in our arms because we don’t feel like buying a bag!! Yes plastic bags are illegal in San Fran which is the second time I have experienced this, first time was in Santa Cruz in Target, the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag I said “yeeeeess?” Next thing I know I’m buying a precious paper bag. So anyway, Brooke and I walked all the way home with our arms full, the streets were dark because the power was out, but I had my large glass bottle full of juice ready in case someone decided we were good candidates to mess with.

During TJ’s night with the girls they stayed up till 11:30 eating cookies and watching movies and then slept outside in a tent 🙂  Father daughters time:

The next morning we took a walk up to the top of a hill where we could circle around and see all of San Francisco… It was breath talking!! We did come across a couple bottles of whisky and a notebook with a list of reasons the person was disappointed with his life… That was interesting.

beautiful view of the city!

So grateful for Brooke touring the city with me and for her exquisite hospitality!! She is just amazing!! Thank you Brooke for a wonderful weekend!!

Enjoyed seeing the “Full House” houses

Smitten is an amazing ice cream place where they make the ice-cream to order

delicious!

So I didn’t get to write on Monday… It has been a busy week!! My family got together, all 3 of my brothers and their beautiful families. It was the last time we will all be together for who knows how long. Del and Arielle will be going back to Africa, we are going to Florida and then Africa, we are all on our own journeys. I love that each person in my family has a personal relationship with God and He happens to be guiding each one of our families, it is pretty awesome!! God is so good to involve us all in his plan.

I was so grateful for this past weekend, the time felt rich and full of love and relationship. There is a difference between the relationship with siblings when your young to the relationship when you are adults, and I love how our adult relationships have been cultivating and growing, and the ways that we have bonded. Some of it has been really hard, but I don’t think we have regressed, I believe we have grown to love and cherish each other more.

Our time here is quickly coming to a close and I am already dreading leaving because so much of my heart belongs here, I get teary eyed just thinking about it, but when I ponder where my heart is I realize it’s everywhere!! My heart is here in central California, it is in Missouri with precious friends and with my daughter in her grave, it is in Florida with my newest family and more precious friends, it is in Arizona with my best girl!! My heart is in South Africa with my missionary family, with friends there I will never see again, my heart is in Seattle, in Texas, in Georgia, the list goes on. My home is in heaven, and that is truly where my heart belongs.  As my heart is spread out all over this earth my longing for heaven grows, in the sense that I know that’s where it is now and where it will be for eternity. This life will fade away and eternity in heaven will be… Well… Forever.

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. “

Snuggling with my babies!

I was listening to my girls pray the other night before they went to sleep. Penny said things like “thank you God for the fan and for the wall, and for the wiiiiindoooows, and for the ceiling (hands outstretched) for my stuff and…. for my stuff, thank you for my sister and for mommy, Ava it’s you turn!!”.

Ava then prayed and said “thank you God for fooood, and for dinner, and for mommy and daddy and for my cousins, for Nonni and for Pops and for their grand kids …right here (pointing to herself). Thank you for my cousins and for Malachi who is my friend (nodding at me).”

They were having so much fun with each other tonight (Thursday night), they were sitting in the back of the couch riding horsies together and laughing, they went potty together, Ava on the big toilet penny on the little one, then they laid next to each other giggling waiting for pj’s. I thought how nice it is that they have each other, God has blessed them!

Eating tacos together

Last Tuesday I had the honor of making fish tacos for some friends. Somehow it gives me complete pleasure to make people delicious food, I don’t even need to be eating it to enjoy it. It gives me utter satisfaction to make something others enjoy, especially when those “others” are people I love.

the tornado from making tacos

kiddos enjoyed them aswell

We have been spending lots of time with people, sharing out story and what we’re going to be doing on the mission field. It was nice to get together with friends and talk about something other than ourselves… not that we only talk about ourselves when we get together with people, but if your a missionary who has done partnership development you know what I’m talking about! The point is that we had a lovely evening eating fish tacos and celebrating my mother’s birthday, sharing stories and laughing together, making fun of each  other and encouraging each other… Fellowship, I felt blessed!  Thank you friends!

fish :)))

Toppings were demolished!

I mentioned on a recent blog that were feeling weary, well I feel like God is lifting is up and rejuvenating us somehow. And I don’t feel weary.

I am determined to enjoy the rest of our time here and not just feel sappy about leaving because, well… I’m not looking forward to leaving California :-(. We are going to enjoy our time left here knowing God has blessed us with such amazing friends, family and church family!

I went running a couple days ago, and it was one of the most difficult runs, (prob just because I haven’t done it in a while) It was only about 2 miles, but on the second mile I found myself having to focus on my breathing, I wanted to stop, I wanted to quit, but I kept going, something inside me wouldn’t let me stop, and as I neared the end, I sprinted for the last 300 feet all the way to the finish line.  I finished well. I was tired, and breathing hard, but I finished well. We have almost exactly 6 weeks before we leave this beautiful state of California. I am starting to feel my feet drag. I’m starting to feel a little weary. It doesn’t make sense that I would feel weary. We get invited/invite ourselves over to people’s houses and they cook us delicious food, which of course I love… 🙂 I keep thinking why am I so tired? Why do I feel mentally drained. I feel the need to be almost daily reminded what the purpose is for us sharing our story with people.

Can we finish well here in California? Yes, I believe we can, but only with the help and strength from our great God. I believe He is asking me to lean on him, to believe him for each and every time we get together with someone and tell our story. The truth is that, God has a bigger plan, and people are in need of the Gospel, they are in need of a great God, and we are just a part of all that. Out of the 2,500 people groups who don’t have God’s word in their language, we do hope to take that number down one. God is asking us to be faithful to do our part, not just to meet with people, because honesty that’s my favorite part. He wants me to be faithful in the little things too. Paying bills, paying taxes (woohoo!) writing newsletters, blogs, and thank you’s, buying my family food, making them food (but oh how I do love to do that!) Entering in new information into our system, calling people, setting up meetings, doing all the nitty gritty paperwork that comes with all of this, He wants me to be faithful in serving him, and this is how he has us serving him right now. I have to remember that in preparing for the work he has for us in the future, we are doing his work right now.

Hebrews 12:1-3

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against

Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

We had a missions committee meeting/get together… great fun, with the other missionaries home on furlough

getting clean is always a highlight 🙂

My very good friend Sara Prieb’s girls (they were sad to say goodbye) They spent the day with us on Wednesday

Peach Pie

I decided it would basically be a sin if I didn’t make a peach pie out of the peaches from my parents tree before I left here, so for our friends Zack and Sara, I made a peach pie.  Peaches to pile high, a squirt of lemon juice and about a half cup coconut palm sugar, and it was perfect.

Sara loved it too!

Got to go on a date with my man Thursday night… Love spending time with this guy!

Went to Island Waterpark on Saturday with Del, Arielle and family who shared their free tickets with us… what a blast!

Wrote this on Satruday:

I Am LOVING finding healthier options for desserts especially when it is so good I can hardly stand it!!  What am I making today?? Coconut cream espresso ice cream. Someone gave us free tickets to island water park, so we went with Del, Ari and kids.  I’m making This ice cream for my mom’s birthday BBQ so we stopped on the way home to get some coconut cream at whole foods and I ask a guy where it is, he shows me, I get home and start opening all my cans (some I already had).  When I get to the whole foods can it is acting different and I realize it has sugar and all kinds of junk, I feel a little frustrated and grab my keys to head out the door, TJ says “don’t we have things to do this afternoon?” I said “this is what I have to do this afternoon!!” I give him a good smooch and head out the door, on the way to my car I see my mom on the front porch and she says where are you going so I tell her quickly and she jumps in the car, we go to whole foods and they give me my money back, then we go to trader joes and I walk in and find my precious coconut cream, I take a deep breath and feel right at home, I have always loved trader joes but today standing in front of the coconut cream where the little sign said “coconut cream: $1.49” I felt more at home in a store than I ever had.

We got home and I whipped up some delicious ice cream, it is now whirling in he ice cream maker. Something I experienced recently was little specs of coffee grounds in the ice cream, so I put espresso as well as espresso grounds in this ice cream, I have a feeling it is going to be divine and well worth all the effort, and my mother is definitely worth all the effort!! 🙂

… Well it was well worth it, I would tweak it a bit next time though.  It was fluffy, creamy delightful and just the right amount of sweetness!

Happy Birthday Mom!

yum!

Penny wanted every last drop :-)))

Lily’s Coconut Cream Espresso Icecream:

4 cans coconut full fat cream

3 eggs raw (can omit these if not desired)

1/2 cup maple syrup

1/4 cup honey

2 tea vanilla

1 tea salt

2 heaping TBLS ground very fine coffee

1-2 cups espresso or very strong coffee (I used an italian espresso maker)

Whip together, pour into 4 quart ice-cream maker and let run till thick.

I added on top:  Magic Shell:

1/3 cup coconut oil

2/3 cups chocolate chips

Melt together mixing until well combined, pour on top of ice-cream and will harden on it’s own.

PS TJ taught Sunday School last week at church and will be doing so for the next 4 weeks… whoohoo, Go TJ.  Thanks for reading!

Since the day after we got back from Mexico (August 10th)  We have not been eating sugar.  I personally am feeling great!  The major difference in how I feel is the lack of headaches, which is a big thing considering the amount of headaches I get.  I am also feeling good about feeding my girls healthier options.  So this may cause you to think that we are not eating desserts.  Well let me enlighten you, we are!  🙂  We just started incorporating some dark chocolate back in as well as maple syrup and honey.  However I am excited about options other than sugar.  For instance the other morning I made chocolate chocolate chip muffins with no added sugar.  ( I can’t find the recipe I used 🙁  but I might be able to remember the recipe:

3/4 cup cocoa, 1 TBLS baking powder, 2 cups flour, 1/2 tea salt.  1/3 cup coconut oil and 2 TBLs melted butter, 2 eggs.  I did about a heaping cup of dates pureed with 1 1/4  cup milk.  2 tea vanilla, 1 cup chocolate chips(I do dark chocolate).  mix all ingredients together and spoon large scoops into greased cupcake pans, drop a few more chocolate chips on the muffins and bake at 350 for 18 min or until toothpick comes  out clean.  They come out a little crumbly, but moist.  It is not sweet like cake, but if your used to having less sugar then it taste amazing!

were they good might you ask?  Why yes, we all LOVED them!

What did I sweeten with them with??  DUN Dun dunnnnn… I sweetened them with date paste!  I bought a large bin of dates at Costco the other day, when I got home, I threw it on the table and said to TJ “Here’s our new bin of sugar!”

We have been having something similar to soft serve ice cream, which is frozen bananas, some sort of milk, and cocoa blended together… delicious!

I made chocolate pudding the other day with avocado, milk, cocoa, honey and maple syrup… Glorious, I added whipped cream and raspberries on top, absolutely amazing!!

My most recent obsession has become smoothies.  I realized that I could add green things to my children’s smoothies and they will still eat them…  woohooo!!!!

I buy my Kale from the trustee Trader Joes down the street

Every afternoon I have been making them a smoothie!  I have all sorts of ingredients to add:   avocado, peaches, berries, bananas, always Kale or spinach, plain yogurt, a little unsweetened juice, a little almond milk, and we’re good to go! I feel so good about all the nutrients that are entering their little bodies, it makes me feel sort of giddy  🙂

yummy smoothies!

I am interested in trying cookies made with dates… I’ll let you know how it goes.  🙂

We have come up with a new phenomenon, Penny doesn’t love to go potty but she loves to wear underwear, however we recently stuck her on her little potty and threw her little tent on top of her and voila it was a portable bathroom, she loved it and has been successfully going potty more often.  🙂  Yaaaay… Penny!

Update on TJ: at his last appoinment last Tuesday he was informed that the little bone that was fractured has reattached itself and is healing, there no surgery needed… Yaaaay!! We are praising God for healing just have 6 weeks of physical therapy to do.

Through different recent circumstances I’ve been asking God to reveal to me scriptures that have impacted us different times in our lives and that have lead us in the direction he would have us go. The cool thing about all of this is that God has begun to reveal scriptures to me.
I was recently reading a book called “Spiritual Discernment and the Mind of Christ”. One of the chapters was about the Holy Spirit and how he speaks. One of the ways he communicates is simply through the peace of God, you may know what I’m talking about, his peace that passes all understanding?

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:7

The Holy Spirit has given us strong yet settling peace when it’s time to do something and no peace when it’s not time. One of the scriptures shared in the book was

Colossians 3:15-17
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

After attending Bible school and going to Africa, getting married and THEN spending 4 years investing in a church, then God gave us the peace, this supernatural peace to Finally GO!  It was God’s timing and he let us know, He has done this time after time!!
One of the other passages that God brought to my attention was in Lamentations. God is faithful, Down to the depths, and up through the heights, he is faithful. Through the death of our daughter up to the moment our pastor at sovereign grace church in Florida announced to us in front of the congregation that they we’re going to be our sending church, God has been faithful, and he will never change. I love that he will never fail us and that we can always hope in him. I love that his mercies are new every morning.

Lamentations 3:19-25
“I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;”

God is good to encourage us, he is good to lead us with his peace, he is good to speak to us, and we trust Him on this journey!

So I know you may be thinking I’m unfaithful in my effort to blog every Monday, BUT I was in Mexico last week and didn’t have internet… so I wrote some on the trip and will try to recap my thoughts and the events.

Sunday, August 3rd:
Today is our first day in Mexico, well second if you count yesterday. Yesterday we got up at 1:30 am (Sadly I was unable to fall asleep before this point) and started driving south at 3 am.

Leaving at 3 in the morning, they were a little too chipper!

Our family got a van to ourselves, so we’re on a road trip and it feels familiar except for the part about getting up at 1:30. I didn’t get to sleep in the car because… Well… I have a hard time sleeping in cars, I gave it a good effort!!
I am grateful my kids were sleeping, until I hear Rob on the radio, “TJ you okay?” Penny wakes up and begins to angrily cry”. And TJ replies “yes I’m fine” and at that moment in my emotional state and haven’t having slept for 24 hours I also begin to cry, and do so for the next 20 minutes, I realize this isn’t going to be a breeze for me and even though God has called me to be a missionary for life doesn’t mean 1 week mission trips to Mexico won’t effect me, they will and no matter where I’m going or what I’m doing I need to be ready for God to work on my heart and change me.
We arrived into Mexico around 10 am, and we’re pretty ecstatic because it’s the first time bringing our girls to another country. I managed to get an hour or 2 of naps in during TJ’s driving… Thank the good Lord!!

The moment we arrived to the town we would be staying in… We ate tacos!!

the girls eating authentic Mexican tacos for the first time!!

I was quite ecstatic about going to bed last night, and slept amazing until 4 am when the rooster right outside our window decided it would be a good time to “caca-doodle-doo”. TJ and I sat up slightly, looked at each other with our squinted faces, and TJ said “why does the chicken think that the sun is coming up??! The Sun is not coming up!!” I followed him with “someone please get a bat and hit that stupid chicken!!” And we wondered why the chicken was confused for the next couple hours. By Gods grace the girls slept through it all and I even managed to fall asleep after each caca-doodle-doo.
So… With that I am looking forward to the week and what God is going to say to each and every person, I look forward to getting to know people better and am grateful for this opportunity. I’m looking forward to learning more in the kitchen about how to operate without clean water as this what we’ll be doing in Africa.

Today:

While in Mexico, each morning was quiet time for 30 min.  Someone watched our kids (Bless them!) while we got to read our bible, pray AND read “Spiritual Discernment and The Mind of Christ” which was the book given to all the Mexico “goers”.  It was awesome to have an allotted time to seek God and sit down with him… I LOVED it!  I had some questions for God and so it was a good time to ask him some things that have been on my heart and mind.  God definitely gave me some answers through his word and directed me to some different places in the Bible to confirm his truths to me.  He showed me scriptures that in different times in my life directed me, encouraged me and validated how the Holy Spirt works.  He was reminding me of his faithfulness and his peace.  I don’t want to share more details right now because I’m not done asking God and seeking him in different areas.

So… after the quiet times our group of 24 dispersed to different places, part of the group was helping a family put stairs on their house, and the other group of us (including TJ because his injured limbs) went to a vacation Bible School and helped with games which we were coming up with ourselves.

Every morning at VBS Ava played on this amazing playground with her friend Nathaniel and sometimes a couple little Mexican girls

playing games with the kids

TJ of course instigated the boys jumping off the playground

These boys loved TJ!

They got in a little paint war

And TJ didn’t win

We did a couple outreaches.  We went to a men’s recovery home, played volleyball with them and brought them dinner… God moved there and blessed us and them.

We went to a little church, where no one spoke English, so we couldn’t really communicate, but Rob managed to preach a little, with the help of 3 semi translators from our group, God was good to bless them and us.  We also brought this group dinner, bean, rice and cheese burritos, which I’m pretty sure were the best bean burritos I’ve ever had!!

making burritos for the little church

It was at this little church where Ava and Penny found little friends, and held their hands the whole time, it was the sweetest thing, and also was hard for me because even though there was this connection with the family, I couldn’t speak their language nor invest in them long term.  It caused me to look forward to Africa even more and getting to actually learn the language there and invest in people’s lives.

Rather than writing a bunch more, I’m just going to put pictures up and they will tell their own story.  🙂

The little church we visited and brought dinner to

Wish I could have talked with these girls more, but they had sweet spirits

Penny is not one to get attached quickly, so this was especially sweet for me

we had to peel them apart to say goodbye 🙁

little friends

eating burritos

these girls were pooped at the end of the day (and for nap time!)

Ava spent about 2 days straight searching the house and yard for airsoft bb’s

Jessica who we met on the trip, the girls loved her!

I got to drive for the first time in Mexico… it’s been 10 years since I have been

beach day!!

we spent one of our last nights at the beach and it was COLD!

delicious tacos!

Deek did say that pepper was hot

These guys got to ride with us on the way home, I was grateful for their patience with us and our tired screaming children 🙂

busy little people LOVE to be involved with my friends 🙂

I love how God does supernatural things to help us rest!! And I mean like rest in The Lord, being encouraged by him and rejuvenated for the next thing.  This week when TJ came home we were gonna hit the ground running, well one of our engagements ended up getting cancelled which gave us the opportunity to take a deep breath!!

We spent the day with my friend Martha, she drove from Bakersfield just to see us, it was glorious!! The girls played with her hair, then they took a nap while we sat around the table drinking coffee and listening to TJ share about his trip to Colorado and what God taught him! We listened to Martha share her concerns with where God has her and her desires for ministry, we worked through some things God was laying on our hearts, it was nice to spiritually connect and encourage each other.  Love you Martha!!

My good friend Martha Keese

As for the rest of my week I would say we were thrown a bit of a curve ball.  On Wednesday we began our glorious vacation with my entire family [except for Bobby 🙁 ] in Twain Harte California.  My gracious parents spent lots of money to get us all together and to make sure we we’re having a good time… Bless them!  We spent time at the lake, ate meals together, and each morning and evening one of the men shared wisdom imparted by God.  It was a blessed time.

The Gang

the “kids” table

All the grandkids except for Caleb 🙁

Friday morning following a morning “man” bike ride, TJ along with the rest of the men walk in the door… I look TJ up and down, he’s filthy as can be, and as I look up to his face I see it… I see that look I’ve seen before, the look he had when he laid his motorcycle down, when he fell 6 feet straight onto his back instantly passing out, when I was taking a phlebotomy class and sticking him with needles, he passed out in the chair, and finally when he walked in the door THIS time, all these things had one thing in common (accept for the time I made him faint). He had been a little careless and got hurt doing so.

While on the bike ride he decided to go on a side trail and apparently went a little too fast down a hill and ended up slamming his shoulder into a “dirt jump” as he calls it.
Sooo… Back to the look I saw on his face, I said “TJ, are you ok?” And he said “not really”. So he told me what happened while I looked him over.  After everything calmed down, and after we forced him to stick his hand in a ice bath for 15 min, and after we gave him some Vicodin, he was okay, even though he couldn’t move his arm/shoulder on the left side or the fact that his thumb was very swollen on the right side, ya well… sort of okay.  We all left him to go to a little train ride and eat pie.

riding on the train

wearing the conductor’s hat

trip to the farm (and train)

When we got back I ended up making lots of phone calls and I took him to the Prompt Care in Sonora. They did X-rays, and we found out that his scapula and clavicle were separated to the first degree, TJ wasn’t even going to tell the doctor that his thumb was hurt, but it’s a good thing I remembered to because it ended up being fractured and has a torn ligament.

TJ’s shoulder x-ray
Clavicle and Scapula 1st degree separation

fractured thumb

whoops.

So here we are not a week away from when we’re supposed to leave for our missions trip to Mexico (with our church)  and we’re not sure how it’s going to play out this week. God is asking me to have grace, love, and compassion for my husband, serving him inspite how his decisions may have effected our lives. I can see that God is testing me and stretching me. He is asking me to pray, to believe him for the best, he’s asking me to trust him, to be flexible with his plans.  I’m reminded that I need to come to him in prayer and in his word. I feel challenged to ask him for the big things, not because he is sure to do the big things but believing God because he is able and he is faithful.
The hard part is that things are not going according to plan, and I LOVE a plan!
So please be in prayer with us as we go to the doctor tomorrow and as they decide what is the next step. Pray healing over TJ and trust in our big God. We have insurance which is good, but there is a 2,500 deductible that we don’t have right now, so pray for finances.  Ask for patience for me as I take care of my 3 children (2 girls and TJ 😉 and lastly that God will make a way for us to go to Mexico this Saturday. Thankyou for your prayers!!

all the cousins enjoying their smoothies from Uncle Barry

Penny just got some big girl underwear… woohoo, here we go!

reading our bible story before bed

playing at a friend’s house

friends 🙂

What a week, wow!!! I know saying goodbye to the Paci wasn’t going to be easy, but bedtime has been…   AAAAaaaaaaaahhhh!!! (Crying voice) I just want to sleeeep!!!   I worked very hard to get penny to stay in bed after saying goodbye to the paci’s and it would take almost 2 hours every night. Here I am looking up other peoples experiences on Google and everyone is saying (high pitched voice) “yes well we accidentally left her Paci behind on this big trip we went on and she ended up being fine”. Story after story people’s kids were fine!! Why wasn’t my kid fine???  Why won’t she sleep?!!! I have lived to tell the tale! Saturday night TJ came home and he put her to bed, she only got up one time and then back to bed she went… For the entire night!! TJ is a Penny whisperer… God Bless him!

Penny getting ready to say goodbye to her paci’s

I was so grateful TJ came home to me and not just because it’s nice to have his help. I really missed his presence and all that I enjoy about him. It’s incredible how a person really does become your other half and life just feels half empty without them. All of Saturday I spent cleaning the house and preparing for his homecoming. I made him a delicious home cooked meal, spaghetti (which I haven’t made in prob a year) , home made bread and asparagus. He seemed to show up slightly early, and so I was rushing around finishing what I could before he walked through door… And then there he was. The anticipation had been growing for days and here he was, he had a bouquet of dark pink roses and a small box of hand picked sees dark chocolates. He picked me up in his arms and kissed me, which was followed by a long hug, which was all happening in in he midst of our girls both yelling with excitement jumping up and down. He then proceeded one girl after the other to throw them up in the air, spin them around and kiss them all over, which is what he had told them he would do in days precious. We are all so glad to have our man home!!

We shared in a church Sunday and are always grateful to share our God story with people, and pray that it blesses someone.

We got to spend the afternoon with our very good friends… The Coutu’s, swimming and eating pizza, it’s just what we needed for a relaxing family day. As our kids were getting along better than they ever had we rode the wave and hung out talking till 10:10 and decided we should be semi responsible parents and go put our kids to bed. 🙂

Ava & Penny with the Coutu girls: Allison and Taytum

This morning I got to see some old friends. Melissa who just had a beautiful baby and is learning how to be a mom… Bless her! Seeing my friend Sienna is always like a breath of fresh air. Not the way it used to be! Sienna has always been a words girl… She can lift you up or break you down. We became friends when I was about 10 and she was 12 and as you can imagine 12 wasn’t the most uplifting age ;)… And I was an easy influenced and effected child. She could tear me down in a second, she has the power to do that, because the thing is: I’m a words girl too!! But today at 29 years old, she uses her words to proclaim Christ to those who need to hear it, she is an encourager and a delight of a friend! Her words feed my soul. With the last baby (before I had the miscarriage) she was the first person I told that I was pregnant and I told her I was afraid of losing this baby because I already loved him/her, and she said “God made you to love that baby!! Don’t be afraid to love the child inside you, because it deserves to be loved as long as it’s alive!!” God used her to encourage me, and God knew I was going to loose that baby and yet he knew that it would be better for me to love that baby than to not, and he used Sienna to tell me. Those are the kind of things God is using Sienna for today, she can be a voice for people when they don’t have one, he gave her the power of words for a reason! I love and appreciate you girl!

playing at the Cetin’s house (Sienna and Melissa’s family)

My dear friend Sienna

This week has had it ups and downs. The girls and I have had a blast having girl time, wearing our dresses while we walk around the yard, picking peaches and berries, riding bikes, we had a tea party, and did finger painting. We love to sing songs at the breakfast table and reading our bible story before bedtime is a highlight… I feel like I have moved a step forward with my girls this week, our relationships are growing stronger and the way I discipline is becoming more clear as I continue to seek God. That doesn’t mean I don’t need his help. In almost every situation these days I’m saying God help me to have a good attitude and do the right thing here.
In the hardest of moments when my child is throwing the worst fit she’s thrown in months, I feel somewhat at a loss and discouraged because of the progress we have made in this past week, but we press on.
This weeks there have been some moments of emptiness, longing again for my baby girl Nola Grace, her presence is so missed even though she never got to see the light of day. Ava asked me when we get to see her again, and I said “not till we get to heaven”. Which feels like a long way away. I hoped for her to live to the day where she would also throw a fit, and we would have to work through that together.  Thankfully she doesn’t need to throw fits in heaven 😉

For some reason I decided that this would be a good week to take penny’s Paci away “bobbee” as she calls it. TJ is not here I will remind you, that’s partly why I did it and because we are normally in 2 different places during the week and right now we are in Fresno for an entire week, and I’m not sleeping well with TJ gone anyway, so it’s the perfect time I decided.  Yesterday I cut the tips off her bobbee’s and she kept saying they are broken mommy… Fix it please!!  So, she has still been putting them in her mouth but remaining frustrated because they don’t work right… So we got a couple balloons today and said an official goodbye to the bobbee’s as they floated away in the sky… Ava is a little older and more intuitive and keeps asking why we don’t just buy a new one? And of course I don’t want that option to even enter penny’s mind.  TJ says my tactics are deceitful and that I should have told penny that I was taking her bobbee’s a way, but I would rather her be upset at the bobbee for not working right rather than being upset at me for doing it… All she knows is that they broke, and that I’m the one comforting her, I’m good with that!!
🙂

My mom took us out to dinner!

it was a bib or no clothes… you can see what she chose

painting with the girls

swimming at Auntie Suzy’s with delicious snack and lunch

eating my banana bread dough

yes, my daughter has pj pants on her head… her choice

fancy shmancy tea party

love these girls

all dressed up for our tea party

got to hang out with our nephew Caleb Sunday afternoon… these girls are interesting! 🙂

“my bobbee is broken!”

getting ready to say goodbye to the bobbee’s